No Sunshine Patriot

Never one to pass up an opportunity to be labeled a dangerous, crazy, religious, right-wing extremist, I pulled on my thermals and headed out to my local Tea Party. It was wet. It was cold. It was exhilarating. I was glad for a venue to share my beliefs of small government and fiscal responsibility. I was thankful no one seemed to be angry, just fervent in their beliefs and this gave me hope for a brighter future.

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Is it true the Department of Homeland Security has labeled people attending the Tea Parties as right-wing extremist that need to be watched. I wonder what the British labeled our forefathers? No matter, I lived in Los Angeles in 2004 and campaigned for President Bush. I am used to being called all sorts of vile, repulsive names for having a difference of opinion. What's a few more?

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I didn't plan far enough ahead to make a sign, but if I had, I would have stolen my sisters idea and written, "Congress Get a New ATM. I'm Out." My favorite sign at the gathering said, "1776 or 1984... You Decide." Hopefully all the parties were as positive as Salt Lake's.

Moving On

I decided I had to post something new, because I was sick of looking at the gross picture of my leg. I had my stitches removed today and the dang thing just ripped wide open. I think I will skip the doctor next time and go to a seamstress.
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Nothing much to report. I finished reading the Twilight series again and as feared, I am not ready to let them go. Good thing I have a back up plan. My friend Becca, who begged me to read Twilight for months, called and said, "As much as I thought you should play Bella, you HAVE to play Katniss from Hunger Games." I'm narcissistic, so this caught my attention. Maybe a good book is just the cure for my addiction to good books. Sort of like the hair from the dog that bit you theory.
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Even though it is by far my favorite, I didn't reread Midnight Sun. It's just too painful when it cuts off in the middle. Please Stephenie Meyer, for the sake of all that's good and holy, please finish it someday. I'll be your best friend. It's a good thing I'm moving on. Bear had started referring to Edward as Ed-Nerd. That can't be a good sign. So no more Twilight posts until New Moon comes out in November... oh and I'll let you know when I get cast in Eclipse or Breaking Dawn of course.
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People with easy gag reflexes, do not continue past this point. Okay, I warned you. I just have to mention, I love how Breaking Dawn ends. After Edward is able to read Bella's mind, she says, "Now you know, no one has ever loved anyone as much as I love you." and Edward says, "I can think of one exception." and Bella says, "Liar." It reminds me of mine and Bear's oldest argument... who loves whom the most. Which by the way, I love you the most. Noodle says so. Now shut it!

Freddie's Revenge

Up till about three weeks ago, I had a tiny mole on my leg named Freddie. He was a cute little guy, but doctors always hated him. They said he was too dark and not the right shape. I vehemently defended Freddie for many years, but I recently grew weary of the doctors complaints and had him removed.

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Lets jut say this made Freddie very angry. Right when I was getting my stitches removed, the doctors got a lab report back. Freddie was not malignant, but he was still up to no good. Fine I said, he's out, no problem. But wait they said, we did not cut deep enough or wide enough. We're going back in.

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I don't know what possessed me to watch the second go around. My husband thinks it was the vampire books. I was fine at first. The needle made me hold my breath, but it was over quickly. The circular blade was okay too, as they sliced down deep and scooped out tissue. However, when the bleeding wouldn't stop and they had to start burning the wound to cauterize it, I became very giggly. Like shaking very hard, so they can't stitch me up, giggly. Doctors don't like giggly. It makes them nervous. I couldn't help it though. The fact that I was being pricked, sliced, pulled, burnt and stitched and could feel none of it was hysterical to me.

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By the way, I was showering the other day and caught sight of the black thread of my stitches. I thought a giant bug was eating its way out of my thigh. I almost died twelve different ways in that shower, before I remembered I had stitches. Curse you Freddie, curse you!!!

O.C.D.

Obsessive Cullen Disorder-Yes I still have it. Bad. In an attempt to find a cure, I took Annette's advice post haste and began rereading the series. I am managing a more normal pace this time, but am still not close to recovery. I'm reminded of a time in a book store where I overheard a little girl telling her mom that she was only happy when she was reading Harry Potter. At the time, I silently laughed at her melodramatic declaration. I liked Harry Potter as much as the next person, but ONLY happy when reading Harry Potter, that was a little much. This is me the pot, "Hey kettle, you're black.".

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I just finished New Moon again. This book is hard for me to read for two reasons. First, I've had my heart broken and it is no fun reading details that are so accurate, they can't help but dredge up old memories. Secondly, Edward is absent for hundreds of pages. I'm trying to read at a more leisurely pace, but I get a little panicky until he comes back into the story. Which would explain why I once again did not go to sleep till 6:00 this morning.

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I watched the movie again. Yes, I bought it, but with a gift card left over from Christmas, so don't judge me. It wasn't so bad the second time around. By not comparing it so much to the book, I actually really enjoyed it. I still did not love Kristen Stewart. As a girl with brown eyes, I can't help but be personally offended that a role was finally written for girl with brown eyes and they cast someone with green eyes and put contacts on her. I don't have high hopes for New Moon. Too much Kristen Stewart, not enough Robert Pattinson equals bad combination.

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All in all, my O.C.D. came at the perfect time. After two full years of suffering through Obsessive Baby Get Your tiny bum down here right Now Disorder, or as I call it, OBGYN disorder, the Cullens have provided a nice distraction. Everyone keeps saying all I have to do to have a baby is not think about it so much, so instead I will now be putting all my focus on getting cast in Eclipse or Breaking Dawn. Universe I have decided and now my wish is your command. Please and thank you.

Thinking Back

Today's April Fool's Festivities have me reminiscing a simpler time. Memories trudged up from thirteen years ago, when I was a lowly college freshman. (13 years! I could have been a doctor twice by now. Sad face!!!) Anyway, back to my point. The details are a bit sketchy and I'm not even sure it occurred on April Fool's Day, but of one thing I am absolutely positive- It was the greatest practical joke of all time.
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The location was a college dorm, Uintah Hall (now called Snow Hall) to be exact. The time was night. Is there any other time when your in college? My friend Aubrey and I were itching for something besides homework to do. Then we had an idea. Where it came from, I can't say... It just came and could not be ignored.
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This is when we changed into white t-shirts and began cutting away. Armed with fake blood and a giant butcher knife, we headed towards the only elevator. Once inside, we staged a grisly scene of blood, bodies and a dripping knife. We even went so far as to place a bloody hand print on the elevator wall, which smeared down to where my hand lay.... and then we waited.
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Group after group of unsuspecting students were horrified as the elevator doors opened and they witnessed what they believed to be a gruesome murder. We always ended up laughing while they screamed, abruptly ending the charade, but their reactions were priceless. We could have kept it up all night, but then the doors opened on a shy Japanese foreign exchange student. She didn't stop screaming when we started laughing. In fact, she started screaming louder. She kept on screaming as we chased her down the hall apologizing, then dove into her room and locked the doors. We never could get her to come out.
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I learned my lesson that night. Some things are funny. Some things are mean, but still funny and lastly, if you do something mean and funny enough, they will write an article about you in the Utah Statesmen.