WANTED

CRIMINAL ACT

I was jolted from my slumber early this morning. There was rustling in the kitchen and music from the "Village People" playing in the background. Imagine the electricity of fear that spread throughout my body. I grabbed my .22 caliber pistol. I suddenly realized the song playing was "YMCA". So I upgraded to a shotgun, this was no ordinary thief. I grabbed my camera so I could get a picture of this lunatic. I jumped around the corner. Shotgun and camera in hand. But alas, "YMCA" hit its chorus. I shuttered in fear. "Y", yes why indeed! I froze in shear panic, but managed to capture a photo of Twinkle Toes. This is the only picture I have of this "Fairy Footed Thief". He managed to steal a pair of my wifes underwear and an apple fritter (see picture) If anyone has any information please let us know.