Sunday, May 12, 2013


I have had a million thoughts on mothers today and in my tired fog and desire to reunite with my pillow as soon as possible, I won't be able to sort them all out and record them.  I want to at least write one of them down before I sleep.  I'll sleep better if I do.

I was at church today and a woman shared a funny story about her husband at the beginning of her talk.  It was meant to be an ice breaker, but of course I end up in tears.

She recounted the following.  Her husband was about five years old and super angry with his mom.  He doesn't remember why, but he remembers being so mad at her.  He slammed the door of his bedroom, so she would know just how mad he was and then he sat down to write her a letter.  He started it and then immediately realized he would need his mom's help.  He opened up his door and in an angry voice, yelled down the the hall, "Mom, how do you spell hate?"

It made me laugh and it made me cry.  I know there will be moments in my life like this.  I never fully appreciated the sacrifice my mother made for me until I became a mother and I'm sure my children will be equally obtuse.

The idea of rebelling, railing, screaming, fighting and "hating" the very person that is holding you up and helping you in every way, made me feel close to my Heavenly Father and realize just how much like children we must seem to him, since we do the very same thing to him.  I love being a mother.  I love it for the everyday joys of innocent smiles and  also for the deep profound gratitude, closeness and understanding of my Heavenly Father it has brought me.  I truly wonder if there is anything that can bring you closer to the Creator than being a mother.

I know I am in the phase where a lot of things I say about being a mom are complaints and while I stand by the statement that motherhood is 100 times harder than you think it will be, I also know that it is 1000 times better than you can ever imagine.

I hope everyone had a Happy Mother's Day... especially my mom Iris Lillie Fields... she's so wonderful that God named flowers after her.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Five Months

It happened again.  I didn't post anything between Ash's monthly update and I'm not even posting it on time. If I wasn't too tired to lift my hand, I'd slap myself.  Drum roll please... Here's Ash at Five Months!

He's 18 lbs!

His rolls are coming in fast and furious.

He is very vocal and his new noises make us smile all the time, especially River who likes to imitate his sounds.

He had a few "firsts" this month.

He really discovered his feet and they've been a favorite pastime ever since.  I love it when they suck on their toes.

He wore jeans for the first time.

He rolled over for the first time.  He did it back to front and I was only quick enough to catch the last part of the roll on camera.  (Speaking of rolls, did you count how many he has in the second picture?)  He only likes to roll over when he's naked.  I guess clothes are too heavy.

It was also the first time he wore overalls.  I just think they look so much older when they start wearing denim.

He wakes up every morning happy and then helps ease the rest of us non early birds out of our sleep comas.

He's in the grab everything phase... which has been quickly followed by the put everything in your mouth phase.  He's taken out entire shelves of picture frames, because I'm not used to him being so grabby.  Also, he might make me a baldy, because those wet little fists are taking out chunks of my hair anytime I forget to wear a ponytail.

We still get flipped off quite a bit, but he hasn't become a thumb or finger sucker.  I wish he had a soothing technique, because at five months, he's a worse sleeper than he was at two months and I am lucky to get 3 consecutive hours of sleep.  Here's the typical sleep... I use that word lightly... breakdown.

7:00pm Bed
10:00pm Ash wakes and I don't feed him.  I try soothing him in other ways.  None of them work and he ends up crying for a long time.
11:30pm I go to bed, because River has finally fallen asleep.
12:30 Ash wakes and I do feed him.  He falls asleep quickly after.
4:00 Ash wakes again.  I feed him and pray he'll sleep for 3 more hours.
6:10-6:40 He doesn't, so we're up for the day and I'm more tired than when I started.

He celebrated his first Easter and begrudgingly let me take a few photos.

He really has become enamoured with River and will look to find him in the room over anyone else... even me and I got the goods.  That's been my favorite part of this month.  Watching how Ash lights up whenever River is around... no matter how many times he gets accidentally bonked, or played with to roughly.

River sat up unsupported on his five month birthday and I was soooo hoping/expecting Ash to do the same.  However, you take away the support and you get a lot of this.

I guess five months was pretty early for River to have such great core strength and balance.  I think part of it was a result of the colic and his back always being arched from the pain.  It must have been building muscles, while simultaneously driving me crazy.  Ash is getting better each day though, so hopefully soon.

We are definitely seeing some ginger/red/strawberry/copper (whatever you want to call them) highlights in his hair.  It's so cute.  His eyes are still blue, but they do have a tiny ring of earthy brown in the center.  Speaking of blue eyed, ruddy cheeked guys with ginger tendencies...

We started noticing quite the resemblance between Ash and the world's best baby whisperer, Robert Andrus.  Bear started wondering if he should get a paternity test.  Robert would happily claim him and then steal him, so maybe we shouldn't go down that road.

We still call him Baby Ash, but he's getting so big, it might not be appropriate for much longer.  Although it's probably more appropriate than when I call him Ashy, Ashy Pants, Ash Potato, Cheeks, Chub Cheeks and Cheekies!!!  Maybe he'll end up being one of those big teddy bear football players with a cutesy nickname.  I'd be down with that.  Those guys are the best.  Just don be tackling my lil boy now, ya here!

River sitting up by himself on his five month birthday.