To vaccinate, or not to vaccinate, that is the question.
Or more like my eternal dilemma. A nurse at one of my appointments encouraged me to do a little research when I told her we weren't vaccinating at this point. I love that it is assumed the people who aren't all aboard the vaccination bandwagon haven't done any research. The facts are these, I have research leaking out of my eyeballs and I still don't know the right answer. I think that's because there is no right or wrong answer. Both sides make good cases. Both sides contain fear inducing statistics. I think you have to trust your instincts and just because your instincts tell you it is right/wrong to vaccinate your child, doesn't mean that someone else is wrong if they choose to do the opposite. Maybe that child is around more situations where they would come into contact with disease. Maybe that child has an unknown allergy to some of the fun stuff they mix in the vaccines.
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Heavenly Father gave us insight in to our particular children and we will receive promptings and answers for them. (Sometimes I wish they were hand written.) I know the government looks at vaccinations for the good of the community and thinks of the number of vaccine related injuries as acceptable in keeping the whole safe. However, River is my priority. I care about his good and I don't feel selfish for thinking like that. I hope every parent does.
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Enough with my soap box. There has been a rather big outbreak of pertussis and despite our decision to not vaccinate at this time, we were both getting the feeling we needed to get River the DTaP. We are about to do a lot of traveling and he will be more exposed than when at home. I felt sick to my stomach researching the ingredients of the vaccine and the many reported reactions to it, but when we prayed to see if River would be okay, we felt peaceful. We decided to go through with it and within 24 hours of receiving the shot, River had labored breathing, a chest cough, a fever, throat swelling and sores in the back of his mouth.
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Scary. I take my never been sick, healthy baby boy in to the doctor's and I come out with a hot mess. I was angry at first and completely doubting myself and my decision. Having a few day behind me now, I can say I think we did the right thing. We were prompted to have River receive this vaccine at this time and although he had a reaction, who is to say he might have been exposed to something much worse had we not. As much as I hate it, we can't know everything. We have to make the best decisions we can, trust in them and move on. The back and forth limbo is hell.
If you've managed to read this far (attention span is a hard thing to come by these days... a result of vaccinating?... who knows) I want you to know River is one tough cookie. The nurse said, "Prepare to hear him cry louder than he ever has." and then gave him the shot. He just turned to me, scrunched up his face and gave one loud UGHHH and then started sucking his thumb. Within 30 seconds he was smiling.
Anyway, one week later and he is doing much better. Everything is gone, except for a bit of a cough lingering. Ironic, since we did it to protect him from Pertussis (whooping cough). I am also recovering and am wondering when they are going to make a Mother's Guilt vaccine.
River loves Kiss Kiss so much, he will actually roll over if you put Kiss Kiss just out of reach. Yes, I use my babes toys as bait. 
Together again.... Thanks Great Aunt Camille for my Kiss Kiss.
