Are You Ready

For an onslaught of pictures? Today I'm celebrating 2 months of baby cuteness. Actually, at this point I was still in labor... but close enough. Our families don't live by us, so you'll have to indulge in the baby pictures and videos for the next little bit. You know, for the next 18 years. I can't remember what I wrote about before the baby anyway. The first three picture are today (8 weeks) and they go backwards to day one. Enjoy!

(Burrr... it's still Winter.)

(Yes she does.)

(Does this bib make me look fat?)

(Who dressed me and what did I do to make her mad?)

(Tummy Time)

(I finally fit into my outfit... just in time for Chinese New Year.)

(Not going to wake up... no matter what you do mom.)

(I don't feel like finishing nursing... I'm just going to take it easy for awhile.)

(Not my best angle, but River looks cute.)

(Just saying my prayers.)

(River and Zander... cousins born four days apart.)

(Ready for a walk.)

(Go Chiefs! Go Dolphins! Wait a minute... who are the Saints and Colts?)

(Perfect face.)

(I miss Grandma and Aunt Jessica.)

(For Sparta!)

(My first piece of mail. It's official... I exist.)

(My doula Emily.)

(My first bath at home.)

(PKU... how mean.)

(Kisses for my ladies.)

(Keep it down mom... I'm sleeping for the last time.)


Has it been 2 seconds or 10 years? I can't decide. One thing I know, breastfeeding has been super stressful for me. I'm constantly worried about whether or not River's getting enough to eat. When he spits up, I worry that it might have been his full meal. Looking at these pictures, I think River's getting more than enough. What a chunky monkey!!!

Hmmm?

Should I be more worried that when my baby finally does take a nap he places his hands akimbo on his hips and has a scowl on his face, as if to say you will pay for this later....
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Or that I had a stunt double for the movie The Wylds when I was pregnant and I just found out they had her wear a Hannah Montana wig to look like me. Really?

My Littlest Sweetheart

These videos are for my family and friends that haven't met River yet, but you know you want to watch them too. I would have uploaded more, but blogger takes forever to load videos.



Our first moments together.

This one has a surprise ending.

6 Weeks

Only six weeks old and already reading... well squawking along while his dad reads.

When River was three weeks old, I truly didn't think I was going to make it to six weeks. It seemed impossibly far off. Making it through the night was hard enough. Well I did make it and though my anxiety rears its ugly head here and there, like today when River decided that six weeks is old enough to not take naps anymore, I need to congratulate myself.

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I definitely had some misconceptions about having a baby. I thought morning sickness was only in the morning and easily cured by saltine crackers. I thought it would be sweet not dealing with a period for nine months and didn't realize I would have to make up for it later by bleeding for six weeks straight. I thought babies would sleep when they were tired. I thought dirty diapers would be the hardest part. They say it takes a village to raise a child. I say it takes a village to keep a mom sane.

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Today has been hard. I guess I needed a reminder that six weeks doesn't mean we are out of the woods yet. However, in an attempt to focus on the good stuff too, River has slept four hours consecutively for the last three nights. I never thought that would seem like a lot, but boy oh boy, it does!

Tribute

River's Grandpa Bud got a tattoo in honor of our little bear. I'm sure River is going to think it's pretty cool when he's a little older. We're going to have to have a girl next, so Bud has to tattoo something pretty on his arm.

Curious?

Am I still crazy? Yes, but a much more manageable crazy that includes more laughter and less panic attacks. A week ago we spontaneously packed up the car, forgetting almost everything in the process and made a break for Wyoming. I increased my herb and vitamin intake by triple, started drinking more water, bought some homeopathics for hormone balance and anxiety, started believing my prayers would be answered and took my mom's advice not to think about the anxiety so much... voila... a happier me.
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I did try the anti-depressant the doc gave me one day, but it seemed to make it worse. It might have been my own anxiety about taking a prescription while nursing or it could have been the side affects of the drug which include anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts. Hmmm??? I don't know if I was supposed to give it more time, but what I'm doing seems to be working, so I'll go with that for now.
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Thanks for the advice. I hate to say it, but misery loves company and it helped to know I wasn't the only one who had a hard time after the birth of their amazing baby. He isn't really sleeping better and I've caved completely on my sleeping rules. He sleeps in bed with us at night and gets held during his naps, but in the mean time, I've gotten a few extra hours here and there. Ah man... I was trying so hard to do everything right.
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Happy Groundhogs Day. To celebrate, I will be doing the same thing over and over again.... nurse, burp, change, soothe, pray for sleep, repeat. I can't wait for the time it's only my days repeating and not my hours. Good thing God gave my baby the most heartbreaking smile you've ever seen to break up the monotony. Once I'm back in SLC, where I forgot my camera, I'll post some pics of River's smile and let him break your heart for Valentine's Day too!