Tuesday, February 2, 2010


Am I still crazy? Yes, but a much more manageable crazy that includes more laughter and less panic attacks. A week ago we spontaneously packed up the car, forgetting almost everything in the process and made a break for Wyoming. I increased my herb and vitamin intake by triple, started drinking more water, bought some homeopathics for hormone balance and anxiety, started believing my prayers would be answered and took my mom's advice not to think about the anxiety so much... voila... a happier me.
I did try the anti-depressant the doc gave me one day, but it seemed to make it worse. It might have been my own anxiety about taking a prescription while nursing or it could have been the side affects of the drug which include anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts. Hmmm??? I don't know if I was supposed to give it more time, but what I'm doing seems to be working, so I'll go with that for now.
Thanks for the advice. I hate to say it, but misery loves company and it helped to know I wasn't the only one who had a hard time after the birth of their amazing baby. He isn't really sleeping better and I've caved completely on my sleeping rules. He sleeps in bed with us at night and gets held during his naps, but in the mean time, I've gotten a few extra hours here and there. Ah man... I was trying so hard to do everything right.
Happy Groundhogs Day. To celebrate, I will be doing the same thing over and over again.... nurse, burp, change, soothe, pray for sleep, repeat. I can't wait for the time it's only my days repeating and not my hours. Good thing God gave my baby the most heartbreaking smile you've ever seen to break up the monotony. Once I'm back in SLC, where I forgot my camera, I'll post some pics of River's smile and let him break your heart for Valentine's Day too!


Chrislynn said...

Don't beat yourself up about "doing everything right". The right thing is whatever works for you. Both my kids slept in bed with us for the first few months and they are both still alive (and sleeping in their own beds now!). I am glad you are feeling a little better!

The Ollies said...

How fun! I'm glad you are feeling a bit better and can't wait to see more pics! I swore that Sky would never sleep in her bed and then she never slept in her own bed (not even once) until she was at least 2 or 3 months old. You do what works and I'm sure you're doing great!

Heidi said...

So glad to hear things are looking up. And FYI, Abigail slept in her swing for about the first 3 months of her life. We didn't even set the crib up before she was born! So don't stress. =)

Jordan Page said...

You are amazing, hang in there! I'm glad you are feeling better. Keep the advice coming on my end, your words are sooo helpful as I try to figure everything out on my end :)
By the way, what's your mailing address? I have a card for you that I've been meaning to send FOREVER!

Drew said...

Remember all of the things that you took...and tell me what they are when the time comes. I am hormonally happy right now, but I remember the unreasonable fear and anxiety I had after the baby was born. I would love to take care of it naturally.


Jen said...

Soooo glad you're doing better. It's true the anti-depressants take up to two weeks to work so I'm glad you found something that works. Just remember - there's no such thing as the "right" way. There's only right for you and your baby. Speed just transitioned to his own bed and he'll be 4 months tomorrow. That's what worked for us. Keep up the good work!

Barbara Blackford said...

I'm glad to hear that you are doing better. It's always nice to be rewarded with a heartbreaker smile after long, sleepless, emotional weeks. You are doing what works for your family best= that is the best kind of momma!