Monday, January 23, 2012

Commitmentphobes

I never thought I was.  I either like something, or I don't and if I do... I like it a lot and rarely change my mind.  In tune with myself, self assured, etc..  But then came the "where should we move" question, combined with the complication of it no longer being entirely my decision.  For years we have poured over every nook and cranny of this decision and instead of things becoming more clear, they have become decidedly more confusing.  Did you catch that... YEARS!

Salt Lake was supposed to be a get out of LA quick card.  We were going to escape the traffic, pollution, lack of parking and over abundance of people by moving to Salt Lake and then quickly decide where we should go from there.  That was September 2006.

Here's the problem(s) if you care to read.  Maybe you will be better at figuring out a solution than we are.

*Acting... we love it and though it would be impossible to build a career in Salt Lake with the kind of roles that audition here, we do like that we still get to audition sometimes and have it in our lives.  We're not sure if we are ready to write-off that part of our life yet.

*We hate the pollution here.  I mean really hate it.  We read an article about how it takes ten years off your life and is the equivalent to smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.  Not cool.  We are not city people, but acting basically requires a city.

*We visited Kalispell, MT right before we moved here and we both love it.  It is a charming town, surrounded by gorgeous views everywhere.  The weather is amazing in the summer... 80's tops.  The winter is snowy, but even though it is further North, it is a lower elevation and not quite as cold as Salt Lake.  It actually has similar weather patterns to Seattle.  We have friends there, but no family and since it is a smaller town, with a smaller airport.... traveling to see family would be very expensive and neither side would be in driving distance.  Also, jobs are few, pay not great and housing is expensive.  Plus, we'd practically be Canadian.

*Bear's mom and younger brother live in Casper, Wyoming.  He would love to go there and has apparently always assumed he would go back to Wyoming.  I worry about the lack of support system for me and the little man.  Utah rocks with mom's groups and play dates.  Lots of options in education.  I wouldn't know for sure till I moved there, but the Wyomingites I know seem to keep to themselves and I die in isolation.  Plus the wind is always blowing and this is a major catastrophe for someone with fine hair that tangles like crazy.  I always feel unkept there, like I would never, ever have a good hair day.  I know it sounds silly, but it is the little things that make or break us people... Cross my heart.  Job pay low, houses cheaper than MT, but not cheap.

*Most of my family, minus my Mid-West yearning sister that is currently stuck in LA, live in Kansas City, MO.  I like it because... well... it is awesome.  Yes, the humidity frightens me a little and the fact they had record breaking temps last summer, send me running for MT, but you can't beat Mid West housing prices and the average salary is higher than the mountain west.  Plus, the people are so nice.  There are a lot of cute towns outside the city, with oak trees... let me repeat... Oak Trees!  And since I haven't lived in driving distance from my family since May of 1996, I would love the chance to live by them for a little while.  Bear hates the idea of chiggers and no mountains.

*Cache Valley... aka... My Happy Place.  If we are staying in Utah, I would love to go back to Cache Valley.  It is my size town and has plenty of more rural locations than Logan to choose from.  Less jobs than Salt Lake, but pay seems to be about the same.  My canyon in my backyard and my lake just up the street... okay... 50 minutes up the street, but still.  I have friends there, but Bear doesn't and so he prefers to stay in Salt Lake if we are staying in UT.

*Salt Lake... we don't hate you, but we don't love you and you feel like a default.  Like we can't decide, so we might as well stay here.  I have a good network of Mom friends here, which truly is a lifeline when you have young children.  We pretty much have a house that we kinda like, but in our price range that is probably as good as it gets.  Bear wouldn't have to transfer his job and lose his seniority.  We don't live by family, but Bear's family is an eight hour drive and the Salt Lake airport has decent prices for my family and we are already here.

So that's it.  Writing it out didn't make it anymore clear.  How we wish we had the kind of jobs that would say, we need you to move here and then we would make the best of it and start a new adventure, but trying to figure out the perfect place is going to be the death of us.  Sorry for the rambling.  I just needed to get it off my chest.  The closer we get to buying this house, the more claustrophobic I feel.  It is my freedom loving Sagittarius side kicking in and I have the Dixie Chick's song Ready to Run playing on repeat in my head.


5 comments:

IrisLillie said...

OK... I have read it now... I still say KC. Why?

1. pure selfishnes
2. SOOOO much cheaper to live here.
3. Mountains are fun to vacation in, other than that they are a bit of a pissy inconvinece... However it is fun to watch directionally challenge mountain folks wander around the plains upset because they can't figure out which way is north with no mountains to keep on their right...
4. You'll have a least some good hair days..
5. Bear would have a support system for home and auto repairs..

Kristy Vannoy said...

I second KC! :)

Selissa said...

I think you should look into Denver. Less pollution, mountains, gorgeous weather, a day away from KC and Casper, Wyoming. Tons of Mom groups, lots of parks, great school options for Baby Bear. Lots of acting opportunities! You should come visit and check it out!

The Ollies said...

I know I am biased, but Logan really is a great placeto raise kids. Wages are kinda crappy but the lifestyle is great. However, I feel your pain and confusion because when we moved to Logan in 2005 it was going to be for approximately 2 years...

Jessica Rudder said...

I wish I had an easy answer, but, there isn't one.

There are two adults with two different home towns that both assumed they would one day be moving back home. It's a zero sum game where if one of you gets to go back home, the other one doesn't. The only way to change that 'sum' is for both of you to not get to move back home (which somehow doesn't seem much better).

I actually looked into Denver once because it's midway(ish) between KC and L.A. since I've got the same home-town split issue. Then I remembered that Josh had serious issues with his ears the 5 minutes he spent in Denver (bad enough that he got on a plane and flew home the same day).

My other mid-way option is New Mexico and I am NOT a desert person so I don't think that will fly. Josh, on the other hand, thinks deserts are the most beautiful places ever (and the lack of pollen producing plants are a bonus). *sigh*

For what it's worth, Bear has already lived and survived in a place with chiggers - Los Angeles. Josh and Jason would get them occasionally when they went to parks as kids. To completely avoid chiggers you either have to live high up in the mountains, really far to the north (like Canada north) or in the desert.