Sunday, March 10, 2013

Mirror, Mirror

Not all mirrors are created equal.  I am sure you have discovered an unkind mirror or two on your life's journey.  I happen to have a really nice mirror in the bathroom of my apartment.  I'm not sure if it the smattering of natural light coming through the window, or what, but I always look good in that mirror.  It also happens to be the only mirror in my apartment, which can kind of be a curse.

You see, no matter how little sleep I have had, this mirror convinces me that it is indeed okay to go out without applying make-up.  This mirror assures me that one more day without washing my hair is totally fine.  No matter how low my hygiene standards go, this mirror says you look great and I believe it, because it is the path of least resistance and then boom... I come across my reflection in a less friendly public mirror and I am horrified.  Not enough to not do it again, but just enough to let my self esteem drop a few notches.

The other problem with this mirror is that it is small.  I don't own a full length mirror.  The lowest I see on my body is my decolletage.  Well, having just had a baby, this can be a hazard of sorts.  I'll put on an outfit, think I look great and I'll be in the middle of a dinner party (play date at McDonald's) when I have to take River to the restroom and whoa baby.... Those Hips Don't Lie.... They also don't hide, shun the fight, politely excuse themselves or cower in any kind of way.  In fact they boldly declare... You just birthed a baby and you might not want to accentuate me in wide horizontal stripes next time!

Today might have been my worst offense to date.  I was at church when River needed to use the restroom and while washing his hands, I happened to notice that I was beyond nipply in my shirt.  The temperature has risen to almost the 50's, which means it's time to break out the summer shirts made of soft, flimsy material.. which would be fine and completely church appropriate had I not just had a baby, turning my nipples into jumbo milk-a-trons.  My no good deceiver of a mirror did not catch this faux pa and I just got home from three hours of church, parading around in a highly embarrassing state.  Awesome!

Perhaps I need a new mirror.  Perhaps I need a thicker nursing bra.  Perhaps I don't really care enough to make any changes and I just want you all to know I am fully aware that I am a hot mess ninety percent of the time.  Yep... the last one for sure.


Cassie S. said...

Nipple-a-trons...hahaha! I have SO been there, and will be returning in just a few weeks' time. I found cloth breast pads far superior to buying thicker nursing bras. You crack me up--thanks for the laugh. By the way, you look fantastic sans a stitch of makeup. The mirror doesn't lie :)

IrisLillie said...

Oh who cares... no one should be looking at a new Momma that close anyway...
And even on a very bad day... you look marvelous..

annette said...

Oh, I sure like you.

The Ollies said...

Ha ha! I think the only people judging you would be the ones who haven't had kids yet!

Jessica Lynn said...

Reminds me of the time I wore my favorite t-shirt as a pajama top - lazed around all day - only to discover at the end of the day that in certain lights it's a bit transparent (not see-through see-through but definitely not super opaque).

It's cool, because no one had been around but my husband....oh yeah...and my father-in-law, my mother-in-law, my brother-in-law and one of the Diaz boys.

I am assuming that I was never in the right lighting for them to see the transparency otherwise 1 of them would surely have mentioned something to me....right?

Needless to say, said favorite shirt is now a daytime (with undergarments) only shirt.