Angel-Versary

Once again the pictures on my camera are accumulating and I can't seem to keep up with the posts.  One thing I didn't want to miss writing about was my friend Matt's Angel-Versary.  On Sept 21st, we gathered at Utah Veteran's Memorial to honor him.  These gatherings are always bittersweet.  It is nice to be around people who share great memories and stories of the person you lost, but so heartbreaking to see the hole their absence has left in so many lives.  I was grateful to be there.  I am always enriched when I put my day to day life aside for a moment and remember the things that are truly important... family, friends, freedom, love, service, sacrifice, hope, faith and God.

When we got to the cemetery, all the grass had been dug up and the headstones were being moved.  Bad timing, but thankfully they had stopped for the day right before Matt's headstone.  River kept wanting to touch Matt's picture.  Even now, kids still love him.

 River picked orange balloons to release.  We were launching a rainbow of colors to give Matt back a rainbow for all the rainbows he gives us.  His family always gets a rainbow from heaven, no matter the time of year, on the days they need it most.

After some convincing, I finally got River to let go of his balloons.

When you gather to remember someone, you never know if you are going to laugh, or cry, or both.  I thought I would be teary eyed, watching the balloons float away, but instead I was filled with a burst of joy and had a huge smile on my face.  That's the way Matt prefers it, I'm sure.

River may, or may not be a little resentful about letting the balloons go.

Here's Matt's parents in the red.  You know the country song that says, "Some Gave All".  I used to think of the servicemen or women when I'd hear that song, but now I think of their parents, children, wives or husbands. To keep living each day, after you've given everything... they are heroes.

 Hug your children tight, kiss your husband goodnight, have a long conversation with your mom and then even talk to your dad for a minute, pet your cat and consider your day well spent... now that's my kind of to do list.

Magic Dad

This kid loves his Daddy.  He loves me too, but he LUH HUVS his Dad.  How could you not, when he is so funny?

P.S.  I think laughing till you can't breathe is the best exercise in the world.  They need less treadmills at gyms and more best friends that almost make you pee your pants.

Smarty Pants

I was minding my own business yesterday morning, trying to check my emails before River got bored of his toys, when all of a sudden I heard him say, "Emmmm Emmmm Emmmm".  "Huh?"  I thought.  "What word is he trying to say?"  That's when he came around the couch and handed me a block with the letter M on it and said again, "Emmm".  Holy Hannah!  Shut The Front Door!  Are those annoying alphabet shows we play while I try to cook dinner, actually teaching you something???
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Later that night, I put on the alphabet shows again.  We watch Leap Frogs Amazing Alphabet and Signing Times ABC Video.  Always before, he watched quietly with his thumb in his mouth, but not this time.



Pretty good, even if he's just parroting most of them.  He went from never having said any names of letters, to saying all but the letter Z in one day.  I don't know why he won't say Z.  He's heard that letter more than any of the others, because he has a cousin named Zander that we call Z.  Maybe he just runs out of steam by then.
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I admit.... I haven't been diligent in keeping up with what milestones a brand new 21 month old is supposed to make.  From what I can tell, they mostly revolve around throwing temper tantrums and not wanting to share.  Therefore, I can't be sure if River saying all his letters yesterday is early, right on track, or WHAT? your kids are already writing in cursive!  Regardless, no astrophysicist, Pulitzer Prize winner, or President has ever impressed me more.
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P.S.  My favorite part of the video is where he attempts to say W and then he tries to speed sign the abc's like Rachel does in the video.

A Few Things

Coming across a Firefly marathon when you are already up too late is a dangerous thing, even if you own the series on dvd and can watch it whenever you want. There is just something about finding it on tv, kind of like hearing your favorite song on the radio. It's way better than just playing a cd.

I guess I am alone on the bra thing. Well my sister was in with me, but it can't just be us, or we'll just be the weird Fields girls, so it looks like I am stuck with a bra until I can get a boob job and then they will just stay nice and perky without pesky support.

I had a wave of nausea hit me like a ton of bricks at three this afternoon. Can you get morning sickness this soon? I hope so, because I don't want to just have the lame flu or something equally miserable. If I am going to suffer, I best be creating life. I didn't think the emotions of infertility would come back so fast this time around. After taking over two years to get pregnant the first time, I thought I would be more patient, but no, you don't go back to step one, you go right back to where you left off.

I so badly want to be one of those people who start feeling a little tired and then wonder to themselves, "Huh? When was my last period? I wonder if I'm pregnant." and then get to be surprised when they take the test. Instead I am armed with ovulation predictors, a calendar, supplements, thermometers and a host of interesting methods to debate about trying if this goes on too long and like I said, the worse part is the waiting...

I have two friends that got pregnant this month from invitro and while I hope I never have to go that route, I am jealous of how quickly they get to find out if it worked or not. Seriously, it was like a week and a half. I'm kind of torn, now that I let the cat out of the bag that we are trying again. You see, I also always wanted to be one of those people who hid their pregnancy as long as possible, to see how long it took for people to notice. My family all lives out of town, so how fun would it be to show up 32 weeks pregnant to some random vacation. Anyway, once I have people hoping and praying for me, I feel a little bad about letting them continue if I know I am pregnant. That's why I just blogged it an hour after I found out last time. We'll have to see what I decide this time, but if I am anywhere as sick as I was the first time around, I don't think it will take you too long to guess.

Wyoming was fun. It was good to get away. I usually have about a two month max of staying in one spot, before I need to travel and it had been four months since my last trip. Gasp! It was needed... a nice country detox. The only problem is, Wyoming did not get the memo that it is Fall. 90 degrees, October 1st in Wyoming, the devil you say! We got back yesterday and discovered Utah hasn't gotten the memo either, but I hear Wednesday should be nice. Whohoo! I'll post pictures of the trip soon.

Things To Do

I have a million things to do tonight. Things that need to be done before I can go to bed and my bed is where I really want to be. I have a cold and fighting through brain fog, to accomplish my list has proved daunting. I thought if I unloaded some thoughts, maybe the fog could move a bit, allowing me to successfully check the necessary tasks at hand.

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Thought one... I hate bras. They are uncomfortable. I have been wearing one for the past 15 years (late bloomer thank goodness) and I haven't got any more used to them. I am always delighted at the end of the day when I get to take it off and change into pj's. If I am ever up late and for whatever reason forget to shed my bra and realize it right before I go to bed, I am more than a little peeved. All that comfort time, gone to waste. I don't, however, want to be the only one with saggy boobs. *Correction "saggier boobs". Yes A cups can sag. Have a baby sometime. You'll see. Anyway, I was thinking, if we all stopped wearing bras, we'd all have saggy boobs and then no one would care. In fact, we might even start saying things like, "Oh gross. Did you see how high and firm her breasts were? How does she see around those puppies." Okay, if that didn't sell you, just think of all the money we'd save.

Thought two... Finding out you're not pregnant by starting your period, is the WORST! It's like all your hopes and dreams being dashed by bloodshed every month. I really hate the waiting, the build up, getting to day 28 and starting to get your hopes up, then... well you get the picture. They really need some kind of instant test. I really, really wanted a May baby and I had two shots. Oh well... now I really, really, really want a June baby, so fingers crossed, or heck, arms folded for us would be greatly appreciated. Oh and by the way, Yes we are trying again.

Thought three... Mentioning saggy boobs and periods in the same post, is not the best way to build my readership.

Thought four... Or is it???