Monday, March 5, 2012

When It Rains, It Poors


You can't really tell from this picture, but one of River's favorite things to do is splash in puddles.  In fact, that is why he is so upset in this picture, because I made the mistake of saying... Let's get a picture and then go back inside.  My bad.  Always leave off the fun being finished part if you want smiles in your pictures.

Sorry my blogging has taken a backseat lately.  As always, everything happens at once and this has been a super busy time for the Bears.  It's kind of funny that when the most stuff is happening, I blog the least.  Ooops... I'll work on that... tomorrow.

Any way, as many of you know we have been looking for a house.  The one we had an offer on fell through, because at first the bank was going to count Bear's acting income and then they didn't in the last second, because it was less in 2011 than in 2010.  We were okay with it, because neither one of us was sure and we didn't know if it was normal home buying insecurity, or something more.  We prayed that if it wasn't right for us, we wouldn't get it for some reason and then we didn't get it... so it was an answer to a prayer and we both felt relieved.

It hasn't been easy finding something better in the mean time.  The Utah market is really slow right now and I feel like they should pay us to live in most of these crap heaps they have for sale, but we are hopeful the right place will come around.

Meanwhile, I have been looking for a job.  While I have lots of leads on decent full time jobs, I am really hoping to find a part time job that lets me be home in the mornings with River and then back again before he goes to bed at night.  Having such specific time requirements has left me applying for jobs I could have gotten  straight out of high school.  This did wonders for my self esteem for awhile... but then I remembered the job I care the most about is raising happy kids and a part time job at (fill in the blank with any retail, food service type job) would serve this goal better than going to law school and plunging myself into debt, just so I can have a "respectable" job.  Even knowing this, I have to admit that my ego and pride war with me when I walk into Starbucks and say, "Are you hiring?"  The thing is, this was never supposed to happen.  I was supposed to be such a successful actress that I could do one movie a year and then spend every single second of the rest of the year with my family, traveling the world of course.  Hey, it could happen.

The rest of our energy has been spent on trying to figure out the best way to add to our little family.  We keep putting off artificial insemination, because we are always positive that this month will be our lucky month.  Reliving this experience has made me appreciate the miracle of River all over again.  One month I got a plus sign.  We did nothing different.  It just happened.  The thought of where I'd be if it hadn't just happened is too sad and lonely to even contemplate.  Man, I LUH HUV that little guy... even when he's grumpy and splashing in puddles of tears.

Well... thanks for listening.  Here's to hoping for many happy updates soon.


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