Well

Anything I write now will be anti-climatic, so I'm not even going to try to be cute and clever. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your comments made me cry and it's too early to be pregnancy hormones, so they really were THAT sweet.
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I'm stealing these fun facts from my sister's blog www.itsybitsywriter.blogspot.com. It has been 22 days (according to my best guess) since conception, so my babies hearts have begun to beat and they have their own circulatory system and blood type. I have to rely on my sister for this kind of information, because I picked a really inconvenient time to swear off non-fiction books.
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Speaking of books, ironically enough, I was reading Sarah by Orson Scott Card when I found out I was pregnant. Sarah is based on Sarah from the Old Testament who was barren until she was really old and then miraculously conceived Isaac. Truly I had just thought to myself, "Man, I ain't got nothin' on Sarah. What am I complaining about." Then I went and took the pregnancy test and wala! (Is that how you spell wala? whalah? walla?)
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As for not calling any of you and telling you the news personally, I am an equal opportunist. I made everyone read it on my blog. I didn't even tell my mom or sister. There is just no good segue into saying I'm pregnant, so I opted out of the conversation route. Besides I'm not one who is known for telling the same story over and over again. Oh wait, I am, but I was short on minutes and my cell phone hurts my head.

I Passed!

I have only failed one test my entire life and not only did I fail it, but I failed it 24 times over the past two years! Well, I studied hard my friends. Did some extra-credit. Paid my dues and finally on April 27th, 2009, at 9:10pm, I passed!!!

Now I know I'm going against the status quo by announcing this so early, but I've been trying for so long, that people ask me almost daily if I'm pregnant yet. To avoid lying to my friends and family for the next three months, I'm coming clean from the start. Thank you so much for all your prayers and please don't stop now. I'm currently growing vital organs inside me and I really don't want to mess that up, so pray, pray, pray away. I will be.
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After I secretly took the pregnancy test and double checked the results, nay, quadruple checked the results, I went into the front room and tried to act casual. Bear asked me why I was bouncing around. I'm not normally very bouncy. I asked him if he had any plans for January and he looked at me funny. I said, Do you want to have a baby?" Again, he looked at me funny and I said, "Well, I hope your not busy, because I'm having a baby in January." Then he asked, "Really?" I showed him the test and after much studying of the results, I got a huge hug and a kiss.
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After so many negative results, I think we were both a little slow to accept it. Now we both can't figure out what to do with ourselves. If this had happened when we first started trying, I would have ran out and bought every baby book in existence and diligently started preparing. Well, I already read all the baby books two years ago and now I am at a loss. I guess it's normal life for now and sleeping in while I still can.
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By the way, at the end of my O.C.D. post, I mentioned that the Cullens were a welcome distraction from obsessing over having a baby. I even said that everyone kept telling me all I had to do to have a baby was stop thinking about it, so I was going to focus all my energy on getting into the next Twilight movie. Well, I am now going to be 9 months pregnant when they start filming Eclipse. I'm not sad, because the part I really want is in Breaking Dawn anyway and to show my appreciation to the Cullens for their magical powers of distraction, I will be naming my babies, yes, I said babies, because I am an overachiever...

Edward Emmet Bear

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Bella Rosalie Bear

Edward and Bella for obvious reasons. Emmet, because they always describe him as a bear and my last name happens to be Bear and Rosalie, because she was as obsessed about having a baby as I was. You think I'm joking, but part of you hopes I'm serious, because the names are so darn cute. I guess we'll have to wait and see...

Here She Is...

The little girl whose early arrival nearly kept me from reading the rest of the Twilight Series...

Sofia Grace Estrada

(By the way, she was this close to being Sofia Bella Estrada, but I lost the vote. Apparently some people think it had too many vowels.)

She is lovely and very tiny. She weighs a 1/3 of what my cat weighs. She was born March 20th, 2009, the first day of Spring... quite possibly the best day for a new baby to arrive.

Here's the family... Bert, Marnie and Sofia.

My cute husband, who did not even come close to dropping her.

Me and Sofia... She whispered secrets in my ear, but I promised not to tell.

Her parents thought it would be fun if all their close friends and family painted a flower in Sofia's nursery. Mine is the purple lily. Bear's is the giant mutant rose with the tiger killer bug and the green smudge from their cat Pixie. Needless to say, we are better actors than painters and we won't be offended if we get painted over.

Many Thanks

I'm so grateful for all the book suggestions. They will keep me busy for awhile. I headed to my local county library, armed with a very long list, signed up for a card and then was stunned, STUNNED, when they didn't have any of the books I wanted. This just does not happen when I go to Barnes and Noble. Did I mention it was a very long list, with many choices. I jumped in my car and was headed to the nearest B&N, when a recent conversation with my husband popped into my head. It went something like this...

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Bear

You buy too many books. You should get a library card.

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Me
Okay (said guiltily, as I glance at the piles of books stacked on the floor of our tiny one bedroom apartment)
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Bear
No really, you should.
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Me
I SAID I WILL!!!
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Short story shorter, I did the responsible thing. I went home and requested the books on the library website. Now it will be like Christmas when I am notified of their arrival... well if you had to give all your Christmas presents back after you played with them once.

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The good news is, the suggestion to read Gone With the Wind reminded me that I happen to own a copy. Right after I bought it, a peg on my TV stand came off and it happened to be the perfect size to stabilize it. I was bummed, because I had started reading the first couple of chapters and was already madly in love with it, but it was an emergency. Luckily, my Emily Post: Wedding Etiquette book is the same size. Sorry for this Emily... and for for breaking most of your rules at my wedding.

Fact or Fiction

For the last several years, I've fallen into a pattern of reading nothing but non-fiction books. It wasn't a conscious decision. In LA I began reading books about acting, auditioning, what casting directors like and dislike, blah, blah, blah. Then came the politic books. When I moved to Salt Lake and began working for Dave's health and Nutrition, I plunged into the world of herb books, meditation books, motivation and self-books. Then it was on to the fertility books. Oh... the endless fertility books.
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Since reading Twilight in March, I've realized how much I've missed the world of fiction. I've read the Twilight series twice, moved on to Hunger Games and then just finished The Host. I have been completely sucked into every world I've visited and I can't get enough. It will be some time before I pick up another non-fiction book. I'm giving my brain a break and exercising my imagination for awhile.
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After working out my stiff and under used imagination muscles for the last month, I've noticed an improvement in my own creativity as well. My excitement for acting has returned and my happiness and hope meter has cranked up a few notches. If my name was Stella, you might just say I got my groove back.
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I'm out of books to read at my house and a trip to the library is on the agenda. I need recommendations. Should I finally take the leap into Jane Austen and if so, where to start. I've only ever seen Emma and I think I had been ruined by excessive viewings of Clueless, because I kept singing Rollin With the Homeys. I've read some classics, but I went to a mostly African American high school and read A Raisin in The Sun every year, instead of once breaking open Great Expectations. Which are the must reads and which ones should I pass by. Please don't let the well run dry.

No Sunshine Patriot

Never one to pass up an opportunity to be labeled a dangerous, crazy, religious, right-wing extremist, I pulled on my thermals and headed out to my local Tea Party. It was wet. It was cold. It was exhilarating. I was glad for a venue to share my beliefs of small government and fiscal responsibility. I was thankful no one seemed to be angry, just fervent in their beliefs and this gave me hope for a brighter future.

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Is it true the Department of Homeland Security has labeled people attending the Tea Parties as right-wing extremist that need to be watched. I wonder what the British labeled our forefathers? No matter, I lived in Los Angeles in 2004 and campaigned for President Bush. I am used to being called all sorts of vile, repulsive names for having a difference of opinion. What's a few more?

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I didn't plan far enough ahead to make a sign, but if I had, I would have stolen my sisters idea and written, "Congress Get a New ATM. I'm Out." My favorite sign at the gathering said, "1776 or 1984... You Decide." Hopefully all the parties were as positive as Salt Lake's.

Moving On

I decided I had to post something new, because I was sick of looking at the gross picture of my leg. I had my stitches removed today and the dang thing just ripped wide open. I think I will skip the doctor next time and go to a seamstress.
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Nothing much to report. I finished reading the Twilight series again and as feared, I am not ready to let them go. Good thing I have a back up plan. My friend Becca, who begged me to read Twilight for months, called and said, "As much as I thought you should play Bella, you HAVE to play Katniss from Hunger Games." I'm narcissistic, so this caught my attention. Maybe a good book is just the cure for my addiction to good books. Sort of like the hair from the dog that bit you theory.
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Even though it is by far my favorite, I didn't reread Midnight Sun. It's just too painful when it cuts off in the middle. Please Stephenie Meyer, for the sake of all that's good and holy, please finish it someday. I'll be your best friend. It's a good thing I'm moving on. Bear had started referring to Edward as Ed-Nerd. That can't be a good sign. So no more Twilight posts until New Moon comes out in November... oh and I'll let you know when I get cast in Eclipse or Breaking Dawn of course.
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People with easy gag reflexes, do not continue past this point. Okay, I warned you. I just have to mention, I love how Breaking Dawn ends. After Edward is able to read Bella's mind, she says, "Now you know, no one has ever loved anyone as much as I love you." and Edward says, "I can think of one exception." and Bella says, "Liar." It reminds me of mine and Bear's oldest argument... who loves whom the most. Which by the way, I love you the most. Noodle says so. Now shut it!

Freddie's Revenge

Up till about three weeks ago, I had a tiny mole on my leg named Freddie. He was a cute little guy, but doctors always hated him. They said he was too dark and not the right shape. I vehemently defended Freddie for many years, but I recently grew weary of the doctors complaints and had him removed.

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Lets jut say this made Freddie very angry. Right when I was getting my stitches removed, the doctors got a lab report back. Freddie was not malignant, but he was still up to no good. Fine I said, he's out, no problem. But wait they said, we did not cut deep enough or wide enough. We're going back in.

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I don't know what possessed me to watch the second go around. My husband thinks it was the vampire books. I was fine at first. The needle made me hold my breath, but it was over quickly. The circular blade was okay too, as they sliced down deep and scooped out tissue. However, when the bleeding wouldn't stop and they had to start burning the wound to cauterize it, I became very giggly. Like shaking very hard, so they can't stitch me up, giggly. Doctors don't like giggly. It makes them nervous. I couldn't help it though. The fact that I was being pricked, sliced, pulled, burnt and stitched and could feel none of it was hysterical to me.

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By the way, I was showering the other day and caught sight of the black thread of my stitches. I thought a giant bug was eating its way out of my thigh. I almost died twelve different ways in that shower, before I remembered I had stitches. Curse you Freddie, curse you!!!

O.C.D.

Obsessive Cullen Disorder-Yes I still have it. Bad. In an attempt to find a cure, I took Annette's advice post haste and began rereading the series. I am managing a more normal pace this time, but am still not close to recovery. I'm reminded of a time in a book store where I overheard a little girl telling her mom that she was only happy when she was reading Harry Potter. At the time, I silently laughed at her melodramatic declaration. I liked Harry Potter as much as the next person, but ONLY happy when reading Harry Potter, that was a little much. This is me the pot, "Hey kettle, you're black.".

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I just finished New Moon again. This book is hard for me to read for two reasons. First, I've had my heart broken and it is no fun reading details that are so accurate, they can't help but dredge up old memories. Secondly, Edward is absent for hundreds of pages. I'm trying to read at a more leisurely pace, but I get a little panicky until he comes back into the story. Which would explain why I once again did not go to sleep till 6:00 this morning.

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I watched the movie again. Yes, I bought it, but with a gift card left over from Christmas, so don't judge me. It wasn't so bad the second time around. By not comparing it so much to the book, I actually really enjoyed it. I still did not love Kristen Stewart. As a girl with brown eyes, I can't help but be personally offended that a role was finally written for girl with brown eyes and they cast someone with green eyes and put contacts on her. I don't have high hopes for New Moon. Too much Kristen Stewart, not enough Robert Pattinson equals bad combination.

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All in all, my O.C.D. came at the perfect time. After two full years of suffering through Obsessive Baby Get Your tiny bum down here right Now Disorder, or as I call it, OBGYN disorder, the Cullens have provided a nice distraction. Everyone keeps saying all I have to do to have a baby is not think about it so much, so instead I will now be putting all my focus on getting cast in Eclipse or Breaking Dawn. Universe I have decided and now my wish is your command. Please and thank you.

Thinking Back

Today's April Fool's Festivities have me reminiscing a simpler time. Memories trudged up from thirteen years ago, when I was a lowly college freshman. (13 years! I could have been a doctor twice by now. Sad face!!!) Anyway, back to my point. The details are a bit sketchy and I'm not even sure it occurred on April Fool's Day, but of one thing I am absolutely positive- It was the greatest practical joke of all time.
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The location was a college dorm, Uintah Hall (now called Snow Hall) to be exact. The time was night. Is there any other time when your in college? My friend Aubrey and I were itching for something besides homework to do. Then we had an idea. Where it came from, I can't say... It just came and could not be ignored.
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This is when we changed into white t-shirts and began cutting away. Armed with fake blood and a giant butcher knife, we headed towards the only elevator. Once inside, we staged a grisly scene of blood, bodies and a dripping knife. We even went so far as to place a bloody hand print on the elevator wall, which smeared down to where my hand lay.... and then we waited.
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Group after group of unsuspecting students were horrified as the elevator doors opened and they witnessed what they believed to be a gruesome murder. We always ended up laughing while they screamed, abruptly ending the charade, but their reactions were priceless. We could have kept it up all night, but then the doors opened on a shy Japanese foreign exchange student. She didn't stop screaming when we started laughing. In fact, she started screaming louder. She kept on screaming as we chased her down the hall apologizing, then dove into her room and locked the doors. We never could get her to come out.
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I learned my lesson that night. Some things are funny. Some things are mean, but still funny and lastly, if you do something mean and funny enough, they will write an article about you in the Utah Statesmen.